Ed's erogenous zone
by deadlyangel5239
Summary: Crackfic, PWP, Yaoi, Mpreg, cursing, OOCness, cross dressing, voyeurism, pervertedness, I've been working on this for a while so please R


**Ed's Erogenous Zone**

_A/N: Ed has his arm and leg back and Al has his body_

_This is a crackfic!_

_Ed's POV:_

I walked into Roy's office to hand in my paperwork. 'I wish Roy would just get the hint and bend me over his desk and fuck me senseless. I mean really, why does he think I wear all this super tight leather.'

"Here you go Bastard." I said dropping the papers on Roy's desk right on top of the work he was currently doing.

"Dismissed." Roy said not even bothering to look up at me. I stormed out of Roy's office steaming mad and slamming the door shut hard enough to hear a resounding crack.

_A week later (Still Ed's POV):_

I walked into Roy's office again to drop off more finished paper work. However, this time I had forgone my usual outfit choosing to instead wear a tight leather _mini_ miniskirt and a tight black tank top that showed my flat stomach. I was also wearing a pair of four inch high heeled boots that went up to mid-calf and I left my hair out of my usual braid so it flowed down my back in waves. (A/N: I didn't realize, until I added the details while typing, that in my mind I made Ed look like a whore. Albeit a very hot/cute whore but still…) I even left my jacket at home so that Roy could see my flawless bronze skin (A/N: He's amazed he has no scars from automail…).

"Here Bastard." I said dropping the papers on Roy's desk again.

"Dismissed." Roy said, again not bothering to look up. I stayed where I was, there was no way in hell I was going to leave without Roy seeing my outfit. "Why are y…" Roy trailed off finally looking at me.

"Do you like?" I asked innocently, swaying my hips as I walked around his desk running my hands down my body to draw his attention to my exposed skin.

"What the hell are you wearing?" Roy asked making me smirk.

"I thought _you_ would recognize a miniskirt seeing as you love them so much." I answered sitting on the edge of Roy's desk crossing my legs to make the skirt ride up even higher. Roy's eyes were all but glued to my hairless legs and Roy could tell I wasn't wearing any boxers (A/N: Ed does nothing by halves).

"What the hell are you wearing under there?" Roy asked dazedly putting his hands on my knees. I smirked at finally getting the reaction I really wanted.

"Wanna see?" I asked sweetly uncrossing my legs and putting my feet on the arms of Roy's chair so my legs were spread wide and making the skirt ride up high enough that Roy could see the red panties I was wearing (A/N: again he doesn't do halves). Roy ran his hands up each of my legs until his fingertips reached the hem of my skirt. I hopped off Roy's desk before he could get any further. "As hot as it would be to do it on your desk," I said grabbing his hand and pulling him up. "We're at least using the couch for our first time together." I pulled Roy over to the couch. Roy sat down and pulled me onto his lap before I could say anything. Roy ran his hands up the sides of my thighs and continuing up over my sides.

"Ed," Roy said trying to get me to pay attention to him. "Why don't you ever fix this?" Roy asked flicking my cowlick. I couldn't help the loud moan that escaped me, it just felt so good. "What the hell?" He shouted confusedly while I blushed brightly.

"It feels good," I explained, "Whenever someone touches mine or Al's cowlicks.

"Is that so?" Roy smirked pervertedly. Roy started twirling my cowlick making me moan wantonly and making me get painfully hard. Roy suddenly stopped and removed my tank top and laid me down on my back and covering my body with his. Roy had just gotten his hands under my skirt and started feeling me up when the door was kicked in.

_Roy's POV:_

"Roy you'd better get off my bitch now!" I heard Hughes shout. "I've been working my ass off trying bed him and there's no way in hell I'm letting you have him first!" I was seriously pissed at Hughes for thinking he could have _**MY**_ Ed! I snapped my fingers and burnt Hughes to a crisp and went back to playing with _**MY**_ Ed. I heard Armstrong shriek at the sight of the burnt Hughes after he came running in, probably drawn by the smell of burning flesh. Armstrong must have seen me and _**MY **_Ed (A/N: Roy's really possessive XD) on the couch because when I turned away from _**MY **_Ed, still groping _**MY **_Ed, to deal with this new interruption when Armstrong charged at me.

"How dare you fry my bitch before I got a last lay!" Armstrong shouted about to bash my head in when several gun shots rang out and Armstrong fell to the ground dead with dozens of bullet holes in his head. I looked at the door annoyed that there were more interruptions standing there to keep me from screwing _**MY **_Ed who was begging me to take him already.

Hawkeye, Havoc, Fuery, Falman, Breda, and Ross all standing in the doorway grinning (A/N: that's one big ass doorway.). Hawkeye spoke up before I could roast them all like Hughes.

"Sir," Hawkeye said saluting me. "We came in after hearing all the commotion and seeing as we saved your life we were hoping you'd let us watch as you make Ed scream in pleasure (A/N: o_O).

_3rd POV:_

Roy just smirked and nodded. Roy proceeded to do perverted things to Ed as many times as he could making Ed scream in pleasure so loudly that the fuehrer could hear Ed all the way from his office. After hearing Ed's first scream the fuehrer turned on the TV that received the video from the cameras in Mustang's office and saw Mustang and Ed going at it like rabbits. The fuehrer called in one of his male assistants and bent him over his desk while watching the footage from Mustang's office (A/N: Couldn't resist the fuehrer bit.). Neither Roy nor Ed noticed when Roy's team all died from blood loss from their bloody noses.

Roy was surprised the next day to learn that he had been made fuehrer because Bradley died of a heart attack from too much sex in his old age.

And that is how Roy became Fuehrer.

Also Roy and Ed had sex so often that Ed ended up pregnant more often than not.

You have just been Royed.

_A/N:_

_Cassa-chan: _Zorro-chan! I finally finished it! *Glomps Zorro* Isn't it incredible!? I just had to stay up for 24hrs thinking about it then fall asleep and dream about it! *blinks slowly and looks at Zorro-chan* YOU LOOK LIKE KISAME!

_Zorro-chan: _*Breaks free from Cassa-chan and gasps for breath* WERE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME BAAAKKAAA!

_Cassa-chan: _I'M SORRY! *runs away crying*

_Zorro-chan: _*Bashes head against a wall for twenty minutes then goes to find Cassa-chan*


End file.
